Moving On
by kerrbear7
Summary: What happens when the lines between grief and joy, aid and adoration, and friendship and love become blurred? Jay and Emma turn to each other in a difficult time, but what about Sean?
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything Degrassi, except the character of Emily...**

**Okay, so here's the next story! Just a little background for ya...**

**Jay and Manny are married and have a baby girl, Emily. Manny has cancer. See how blurred the lines get between grief and gladness, aid and adoration, friendship and love... **

"We haven't had the talk yet," she said, her voice weak and tired.

Emma shifted nervously in the uncomfortable chair she'd been sitting in for the last two, stifling hours. This was one conversation she most certainly did not want to have.

"Emma?" Manny questioned, taking hold of her friend's anxious hand. "I need...I need to do this. And I need you to do this with me, okay?"

Emma fought back tears that threatened to explode at any minute. "You shouldn't be talking like this. Not yet."

Manny smiled, albeit half-heartedly. She took a strangled breath and let it out shakily. "I know that he won't ever ask for help. But you know he'll need it."

Emma nodded, peering around the ugly green curtain, out into the drab hallway. He stood there, his back to her, but his slumped shoulders saying more than his face would ever reveal. The weight of the world was on those shoulders. Emma felt exactly the same way.

Manny squeezed Emma's hand, bringing her back to the issue at hand. "I know I don't have to ask, but I will anyway. Emily..." Manny let her voice trail off, telling Emma just how hard this was for her best friend.

Tears trickled out of the corners of Emma's eyes, but she made no attempt to swipe them away. Manny had been asking her not to cry for the past two months and Emma had kept it all bottled up until now. If Manny needed to talk about this so much, then Emma needed to relieve some of her pain along the way.

"My little girl didn't ask for this. Neither did I, but I'm trying to make the most out of this situation. Just promise she'll always have you to go to. For whatever she needs. Promise me?"

Emma sighed heavily, letting some of that weight from her shoulders. "You don't even have to ask."

"And Jay?" Manny probed.

"He has Sean," she answered. When Manny raised an eyebrow, Emma smiled. "And he has me."

Manny took a shaky breath. Her eyes fluttered. Emma watched the machine next to her small frame and felt her heart stop. She didn't realize she had said anything, until she saw Jay turn and run into the room. He took Manny's free hand, exchanged a sorrowful look with Emma, and pressed his lips to Manny's temple.

They sat there, the three of them, hands joined, oddly bonded over the worst possible event in their young lives. And, as Manny took her last breath, it was Emma and Jay, her quasi-sister and her husband, that supported her from one life to the next.

**Hope you enjoy! Please review to tell me what you think.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing...**

Jay felt like a zombie, going through the motions, but never stopping to take account of what was actually going on around him. He avoided Emily, his newborn baby girl, finding it too painful a reminder even being around her. He rarely slept, and when he did get a few restless winks, it was on the lumpy couch, borrowed from the Simpson's, since he found it too difficult to even lay his head in the bed he had all too briefly shared with Manny. Jay wondered if life would ever be normal again.

The funeral, of which Manny's parents, who made an effort to constantly remind Jay was due to their financial assistance, totally took over, was completely foreign to Jay. He felt like he had no part in the burying of his own wife, which, he suspected, was exactly what the Santos family wanted.

And, as if losing the love of your life isn't enough, Jay was hit with another bombshell. Manny's parents wanted Emily; to raise her and take over sole custody, fearing that Jay was ill-equipped to care for a child on his own. Jay began to think that maybe they were right...until Emma Nelson set him straight.

She flew into his apartment, without so much as a knock. But that was Emma.

"Nelson. Glad to see we're on such good terms, that not even a closed door will keep you out," Jay slurred.

Emma's eyes squinted in anger as she walked over to the loud stereo and pounded the power button until the system abruptly shut down. She faced Jay. "Are you drunk?"

Jay sat up straighter and grabbed the half-empty bottle of whiskey off the mahogany coffee table. "Not yet, but I'm working on it."

Emma shook her head. "This is so not the way. Where's Emily?"

"At her new home," he muttered.

Emma knew Jay was in pain, but couldn't forget that her final words with Manny had been a promise to protect her small family unit. Emma was not about to let that conversation fall on deaf ears. She shook her head and sat down beside Jay. There were blankets and a pillow sitting on the end of the couch, and Emma realized that Jay was sleeping out here...still.

"I know this is hard, Jay. I'm just trying to make it through each day."

"Good for you, Nelson!"

Emma sighed. Well, nothing worthwhile ever comes without hard work. This was one of those times. "What I mean is that I know what you're going through."

Jay's face lost all hints of humour. "Really? 'Cause I think you still get to go home to the guy you love every night."

Emma nodded her agreement; she couldn't argue that she did, in fact, go home to Sean every night. They had moved in together last year, just after Manny and Jay's wedding. She realized she'd have to approach this from a different angle.

"I'm pissed off too!" she shouted suddenly. "I'm fucking angry!"

Jay's eyes widened at her language. He'd never heard Emma curse before. He smirked and took another swig from his bottle, this time offering some to Emma. He was even more surprised when she accepted his gift, slugging back a good mouthful of the burning substance.

"You love Emily, right?" Emma asked, tears filling her eyes. Jay couldn't tell if it was her emotions or the stinging effect of the alcohol that caused the tears.

"You know I do," he whispered.

"Then prove it! Be a father, Jay. Be a father for Manny, because that's what she'd want."

Just hearing her name made Jay slump over and burst into tears. He had tried to compose himself through this whole ordeal, to never shed more than the appropriate amount of tears. But now, here with only Emma to see, he wept for the loss he felt to the core of his being. All Emma could do was wrap a supportive arm around Jay, resting her head on his back and sharing in his grief.

"I can't do this...a...alone," he admitted through his subsiding tears.

Emma lifted her head and dried her eyes with the sleeve of her grey sweatshirt. "You don't have to."

"You'd do th...that?"

Jay was looking at her now, his eyes still glistening with tears, his nose red. He looked dishevelled and broken, which only made Emma's mission more obvious.

"I made a promise to my sister to keep you and Emily safe and happy. I won't let her down," she swore. "But you have to work with me. Tomorrow afternoon, when you've sobered up, you'll take a shower, put on something clean, and march your ass over to the Santos'. Go and get your daughter, Jay. It's time to get things back on track."

Jay looked at her, swiping his eyes with the back of his hand. Of all the people, she was the last one he'd expected to be coming to his aid. But here she was, fighting for him, and fighting for Emily. And she was right. Manny would want her daughter to be with her daddy. Manny would want them to move on.

**Manny would want them to move on, but to what?**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**Just some background here: Emma and Sean are not married, but they do live together.**

"It's been too long," Sean whispered huskily, nibbling on Emma's shoulder.

Emma wished he wouldn't talk. She wasn't feeling like making love right now, but knew that Sean had been patient with her these last few weeks. She was still grieving over her loss and now, trying to help Jay stand on his own two feet. By the end of the day, she was both emotionally and physically exhausted. Crawling into bed was really the only thing Emma looked forward to when she came through the door at the end of a long, tiring day.

Sean slipped the strap of her silk nightie from her creamy, white shoulder. _Why is this taking so long?_ Emma felt bad once the thought formed in her cluttered mind, so she tried to get into the gentle foreplay that Sean was trying to create.

On her knees, Emma positioned herself over Sean, pushing him back onto the pillows, kissing his muscular chest. She looked up and saw him smiling, knowing she had him just where she wanted him. _This will be over in no time and then...sleep!_

RING! RING! RING!

Sean sighed. "You've got to be kidding me!" he yelled.

Emma flashed him a look, worked her way off of Sean's body, and flipped over to the phone. "Hello?"

"Emma?" came Jay's worried voice.

Emma sat up straighter. "What's wrong?"

"I don't know. She's been crying for the last two hours! I tried feeding her and changing her. I've tried rocking her and singing. Nothing works. I checked her temperature and it's 101. What should I do?" he asked, panic in his voice.

Emma could hear Emily's pained wails in the background, as she got to her feet, flying to the closet and pulling out jeans and a sweatshirt. "Just relax, okay? I'll be there in a few minutes."

She hung up the phone and began to get dressed. Sean was still laying on his back, looking up at Emma with a frustrated frown. "Jay?"

Emma nodded, pulling her hooded sweatshirt on and smoothing down her hair. She went into their personal bathroom, just off the bedroom. She brushed her hair into a ponytail and splashed some water on her face. She returned to the bedroom, sitting on their window seat to pull on her running shoes.

"So how long this time?" Sean finally asked.

"I don't know. Emily's running a fever and Jay has no idea how to help her calm down. When she gets settled, I'll come home," Emma told him, looking around the room.

Sean grabbed her keys off the nightstand and held them up, the light catching Emma's attention as Sean dangled them from a finger. She smiled and went to grab them, but Sean snatched them back.

"Sean! I have to go," she warned.

"Why is it that Hogart only calls when you and I are about to get lucky?" he asked, trying to sound playful, but the edginess of his voice giving away his annoyance.

"You know that this is a hard time for him. He's trying to learn a million things at once."

"So why does he always have to call you?"

Emma's eye met Sean's cold stare. "You're supposed to be his best friend," she reminded. "I don't see you helping him out very much."

"Why does he need me when he has my girlfriend?" Sean asked, sarcasm biting at his voice.

"I'm not standing here arguing with you. You're being a baby."

"No, I'm a frustrated man. A man with needs that keep getting put off because of my so-called best friend. At some point, Jay has to stand on his own two feet."

Emma crawled onto the bed, grabbed her keys from Sean, and gave him a quick kiss. "Let's just say our little tryst here is 'to be continued', okay? I promise. Besides, I'm sure Emily will settle before I'm even there and I'll be back in no time."

Sean smiled, slapping Emma on her tight bottom as she walked away from him. "Okay, but if you're not back here in two hours, I'm taking care of my own needs!"

Emma made a face at her lover, waggling her index finger as a warning. She left the apartment, hoping this crisis wouldn't last all night. She hadn't wanted to tell Sean that there was always a possibility that Emily wouldn't settle. She just hoped tonight wouldn't be one of those nights...

**Please review!!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I, sadly, own my ideas (and the character of Emily), and nothing else...**

"What the hell took you so long?" Jay asked, as Emma walked into Emily's room. "I'm dying here, Nelson."

Emma had stopped knocking, seeing as how she was spending so much time here, she might as well take up permanent residence. She gave Emily a pitiful look, taking the wailing girl from Jay's arms. Her red, tear-stained face told volumes of how she had spent the last few hours. Emma rubbed the small girl's back with gentle circles as she asked, "Where is your thermometer?"

Emily was still crying when Jay handed Emma the thermometer and watched her whisper soothing words to his little girl as she took her temperature. Emma held it up to the light. "Okay, well this says 99.9. You go run a bath for her, but make sure it's only lukewarm, okay? I'm gonna call your doctor."

Emma laid the crying girl down in the crib and went off to the living room to call Emily's pediatrician. Jay went into the bathroom and Emma heard him muttering to himself as he ran the bath water.

"Okay, the doctor said not to worry since the temperature seems to be coming down. Has she been congested?" Emma asked, joining Jay in the bathroom.

Jay's face scrunched. "She's been a little stuffy today. Wait. Do you hear anything?"

Emma walked into Emily's bedroom and realized that she was sound asleep in her crib. She turned to Jay, gave him the thumbs up sign, and turned the light off on her way out of the room. Jay and Emma stood in the hallway of the small apartment, staring at each other.

Jay slid down the wall until he was on the floor. Emma did the same. Their legs were side by side as they both took deep breaths.

Jay's chin was resting on his chest, but when he looked up, he had tears in his eyes. "I can't do this," he whispered. "I feel so unprepared. I'm terrified I'm gonna mess up her life and I miss Manny so much."

Emma found tears in her own eyes and she rubbed Jay's leg. "You're too hard on yourself. You're doing a great job. She's going to have times like this. And now, the next time, you'll know what to do."

Jay's tears subsided. "I hate that you see me like this."

She smiled. "Well I'm glad that I do. It just shows me what Manny saw all along; that you're a decent guy."

Jay shook his head. "Don't let this get out, okay?"

Emma laughed. Her face turned serious. "You want me to hang out for a bit?"

Jay wanted to tell her yes. The fact was, he wished Emma never had to leave. She'd been so awesome with Emily and helping him get through the first month of Manny's death. But he also knew that this arrangement wouldn't last too much longer. Eventually, Jay was going to have to stand on his own two feet!

"It's okay," he said, getting to his feet and offering a hand to Emma. "I'm sure Sean's probably at home waiting for you." He heaved Emma up, pulling too hard and sending her into his chest.

They stood there, chest to chest, staring into each other's eyes, the only sound to be heard in that hallway being shaky breaths and rapid heart beats.

"Okay," Emma finally said, breaking the awkward silence. "I'll get going then."

Jay walked her to the door, leaning on the wall as Emma put her shoes on, preparing to leave.

She stood up straight when she was ready, grabbing her purse from the coat tree by the door. "She should be fine after a good night's sleep, but feel free to call me if you're worried about anything."

Jay smiled. "Thanks. I think we'll be fine. I gotta ask you though, will I ever feel rested again?"

Emma giggled. "Welcome to parenthood. You're just lucky you have a little girl who sleeps through the night. Jack cried all night long and slept during the day. Most babies aren't as good a sleeper as Emily."

Jay rolled his eyes. "Lucky, huh? Tell that to my boss tomorrow when I'm mistaking the carburetor for the battery!"

Emma bit her lip and leaned forward, whispering, "I'll tell him to go easy on you."

She left the apartment, feeling good that things had worked out with Emily. Jay watched from the living room window, making sure Emma got into her car safely. He pulled the curtains when Emma pulled out of the parking lot, sighing heavily as he settled onto the couch, covering himself with the blanket. _Well, hun, we averted another crisis tonight. Thanks to Emma. Thanks for sending her to me. I don't know what I'd do without her. I miss you and love you. Good night!_

Jay settled into a peaceful sleep, thinking about how thankful he was for Emma Nelson.

**Jay, thankful for Emma? Hmmm! Gonna get spicy! Please review...**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

Sean looked at his watch as Jay came walking through the door. "You're ten minutes early," he commented. "Everything okay?"

Jay smirked. "I so had it together this morning!" he exclaimed, heading to his locker to change into his work clothes. "I had a shower and chowed down some breakfast before Emily was even awake! Then I got her up, gave her a bath, got her dressed, and fed her! Baby, I am on fire!"

Six months after Manny's death and Jay was finally managing to get things together. Thank the Lord, Sean thought to himself. Maybe now things could get back to normal.

Sean laughed, hitting his best friend on the back. "All that and you still managed to make it to work on time? I'm impressed! And all without my girlfriend."

Jay's happy face sank hearing his friend's obvious disdain for the time Jay was spending with Emma. "I'm getting there. Only because Emma's been showing me the ropes."

Sean cringed, hearing Jay use her first name. She was always 'Nelson' or even 'Greenpeace' (still). So what? Now they're friends? Sean hated to admit it, but he didn't like them having any kind of relationship other than their typical hate-banter.

Jay put his blue coveralls on and fixed his black hat, backwards on his head. He looked at Sean, engrossed in deep thought and joked, "Somebody piss in your Cheerios this morning?"

Sean shook his head. "Things around your house are getting better and I guess that's all that matters."

Jay stopped Sean from walking away. "What the hell is that supposed to mean?"

"It's just that Emma spends, like, every minute at your house. If she's with you, she's not with me."

"She's not with me either. She's with Emily."

Sean laughed, but Jay knew he wasn't feeling so light hearted about all of this. "Same thing."

Jay flipped the sign on the glass-fronted door. He turned back to Sean, who was looking at him with an angry scowl. "So what are you saying?"

Sean wanted to tell Jay to stop calling Emma every time something went wrong, but he knew that wasn't the way he should be talking to his friend. He'd just lost his wife and had come into work, for the first time in months, with a smile on his face, and on time. If Emma hadn't helped him, chances were, Jay would never get his act together.

"Look, man, I'm sorry. I guess I'm just a little frustrated...if you know what I mean," he sighed, giving Jay a knowing look.

Jay took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Look, man, I can't help out in the sex department. It's been more than a little while for me too."

Sean smiled at Jay and the two of them began to laugh, sharing a quick man-hug in the process. It was their usual way of making up after harsh words.

"I'll try to get along on my own from now on, okay?" Jay promised.

"No, man. It's okay. I think Emma likes being around Emily anyway."

Sean and Jay separated then, each going their own way in the small garage. Jay had left his old job just before Emily was born, opting to help Sean get his business off the ground instead. Now, Cameron's Custom Cars, was a well-oiled machine and getting more and more customers every day. Still, Jay hated having his best friend as his boss. Sometimes he wondered how his life would be if he'd taken Al up on his offer.

Al Johnson, the owner of Johnson's Just Fix It, the garage where Sean and Jay had both worked and started out their mechanic careers, was in desperate need of retirement. He wanted Jay to take over the business, working out a financial plan that even Jay, with his small savings, could afford. But, after talking it over with Manny, Jay decided that Cameron needed him more and told Al no. When he was stuck under a car, hands dirty from the grease and oil, Jay thought about what it would be like owning his own business. Working out deals with customers, hiring kids who loved cars as much as he does, and making his own schedule.

It felt like a betrayal when Jay thought like this. Sean had been more than generous these last few months, allowing Jay to come in late or, in some cases, not come in at all. And the salary that Sean paid him was good, probably too good, so why did Jay feel like this?

"You know what I was thinking?" Sean asked, at the end of the shift, while he and Jay were closing up.

Jay shrugged. "You're going home to get some play?"

Sean laughed. "Maybe later. No, man! I was thinking we should go out."

"Are you asking me out, Cameron? 'Cause it might have been awhile, but not that long, buddy," Jay joked.

Sean shot him a look and rolled his eyes. "I mean it. We should call Spinner and the guys, and go out. Have a couple drinks, get a bit tipsy. Fun! Remember fun?"

Jay pretended to think, as his eyes darted back and forth. He finally shook his head. "Fun? Don't know anything about it."

"Well you will. Come on! We're closed tomorrow, so it's not like you gotta get up early or anything. What do you say?"

"I say that bringing Emily to a bar isn't such a good thing," Jay reminded.

"Leave her with a sitter," Sean said casually.

Jay shrugged. "Sorry. Emma helped me find Mrs. Hanson, and she's awesome, but she's a strictly days-only babysitter. But, hey, you go and have a good time. You get Nelson a little tipsy and she may put out for ya."

"That's it!" Sean yelled, as Jay raised an eyebrow. "No, man. Emma's parents! They would love to babysit! They'd take Emily for the whole night."

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Spike's been waiting for grandbaby time."

Jay raised an eyebrow. "Any news on that front with you and Nelson?"

Sean rolled his eyes. "Don't you have to have sex before you can have a baby?"

Jay and Sean shared a laugh, and many more, as they made their plans for that night's events.

**Please review!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

"You know, this whole night out thing was a really good idea, Sean, but wasn't this also about cheering Jay up a bit?" Paige asked, pushing the red umbrella aside as she sipped her fruity drink.

Sean looked down the table, where Jay was slumped over, obviously drunk, but looking more than a little depressed. He looked over at Spinner. "What should we do?"

"No wonder he's depressed, man. Listen to what's playing on the jukebox," Jimmy told them, pointing his index finger straight up into the air.

As the group listened, they heard:

_How do I get through one night without you?_

_If I had to live without you_

_What kind of life would that be?_

_Oh and I, I need you in my arms_

_Need you to hold._

_You're my world, my heart, my soul._

_If you ever leave_

_Baby, you would take away everything good in my life._

"Someone should ask him to dance," Ashley suggested. "You know, to get his mind off the words in the song."

Everyone faced Emma. She gave them all a curious look. "Why me?"

Paige spoke up. "Because, hun, he's a total crab around everyone, except you. Look, we'll all get up and dance so it won't look too weird."

The table stood up and paired off. Emma gave Sean an apologetic look, but he pushed her toward the end of the table. She approached Jay slowly, leaning over his back and asking, "You wanna dance."

He looked up with tears shining in his red eyes. He gave her a sad look and shook his head.

Emma sighed. "I'm not taking no for an answer," she vowed, grabbing his hand and pulling until Jay was on his feet.

He followed her to the dance floor and allowed her to wrap his arms around her small waist, as she placed hers around his neck.

_How do I live without you?_

_I want to know._

_How do I breathe without you_

_If you ever go?_

_How do I ever, ever survive?_

_How do I, how do I_

_Oh, how do I live?_

"I should go," Jay slurred.

Emma pulled back until she could see Jay's face. "We're here to have fun, remember? You're not doing so well in that category. How can I help?"

Jay stared at Emma. "Bring Manny back."

She smiled sadly at him. "I would if I could."

"Okay then can you make me forget?"

"You don't really want that."

Jay steadied himself, leaning slightly against Emma. "I'm barely holding it together, Nelson."

Emma hugged him tightly and was surprised when Jay returned the gesture. "You'll get through this. You're ten times stronger than you were a few weeks ago," Emma reminded him, whispering in his ear.

"Only because of you," Jay whispered back.

Emma found herself shivering from Jay's whispered confession. She pulled back a bit and shot a look over to Sean, who was sitting with Jimmy at the table, staring at her and Jay on the dance floor. She smiled at him and he smiled back, but Emma knew the gesture from Sean was forced and not sincere.

"Sean said you made it to work early today," Emma said, deciding to change the subject.

Jay grinned. "I actually had things pretty together this morning. It felt kind of good. God! When did this happen? When did just getting out of the house on time become something to get excited over?"

Emma laughed. "When you became a daddy. How is my little girl, anyway?"

Jay smirked. "She's...she's an angel. I hope she's okay with your parents."

"Are you kidding? My mom was so excited when Sean called her. I figure if you let her have Emily every couple of weeks, she can stop asking me when I'm going to get married and have babies of my own," Emma admitted, with a giggle.

Jay's handsome face became serious, revealing his chiselled features. The small amount of stubble covering his chin and above his lip, made the look more appealing, and suddenly Emma was struck by just how handsome Jay really was. Manny had told her time and again how sexy she thought Jay was, but Emma had never seen it, not even when she herself had a brief affair with him. Well she saw it now!

Her breath caught and Jay noticed, even through his inebriation, that she was flushed. "Are you okay?" he asked, eyeing her up.

She smiled. "I'm fine. Um, I think the song is over," she said, stumbling over her words.

They both looked up. Their feet had stopped moving and they were standing in the middle of the dance floor, just holding each other, finally realizing that the song had changed to a fast, hip hop, dance song. Their friends were staring at them, and Emma suddenly felt incredibly embarrassed. She pulled away from Jay, not turning back, as she made her way back over to their table, sitting down beside Sean, and snuggling up to his side.

Jay watched her walk away and wondered why he was feeling so abandoned. Emma had every right to go back to Sean; he was her boyfriend and Jay was nothing more than an obligation...

**Hope you like. Stay tuned for some major Jemma action...**


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

Emma had volunteered to be the designate sober driver that evening, and was now regretting her decision, as she tried to quiet the car load of drunks, singing along with the radio. Sean was sitting shotgun, calling it earlier on in the evening, and because it was Emma's car they were driving in. In the backseat, Spinner, Paige, Alex, and Jay were all squished together, laughing and joking about how incestuous their little foursome really was.

"Em?" came Sean's voice, breaking Emma from her thoughts. Sean's head had been against the window the entire ride, and she was beginning to think he had passed out. "I think I'm gonna be sick."

Emma cringed. "Want me to pull over?" she asked, trying to sound sympathetic instead of snarly.

He shook his head and looked around. "Take me home," he ordered.

Emma looked into the backseat. She leaned toward Sean and reminded, "I still have to drive everyone else home."

"Take me home, Em," Sean begged. "Please."

Emma knew that they were a lot closer to their apartment than to Jay's or any of the others'. She took a turn and began the short drive to their apartment building. When she pulled into the parking lot, she asked Sean, "Want me to come up with you?"

He shook his head and gave her a pained look. "I just really wanna be alone. I'll be better by the time you get home. Drive safe and call if you need me."

Emma watched Sean stumble into their building, fidgeting with his keys as he tried to open the secured front door. When he was safely inside and on the elevator, Emma pulled away from the curb.

"So, who first?" she asked.

"I say me, Paige, and Alex do a little reminiscing of our own. Huh, ladies?" Spinner asked.

Alex gave him a dirty look. Sure, Paige and Spinner still messed around every now and then, but Emma suspected Alex wanted something more solid with Paige than just a one night drunken regret. She threw herself over the seat and tapped Emma on the shoulder. "Can you drop me off at my place?"

Emma played the obliging chauffeur and dropped everyone off at their intended destinations. Spinner and Paige both got off at the same stop, Paige's, and Emma giggled to herself, realizing that sometimes history can't help but repeat itself. She used the rear view mirror to peer into the backseat where Jay was lying down.

"Jay?" she called when she pulled into his parking lot. "We're here."

She struggled getting Jay into his apartment, and cursed everyone who had fed him alcohol, wishing they were the ones tripping all over the place trying to get him home.

When they were inside, Emma tried to guide Jay to his bedroom, but he was suddenly wide awake, wanting to party some more. He flipped on his stereo and turned to Emma, smirking.

"I love this song," he commented, walking toward Emma.

Emma tried not to laugh, but she couldn't help herself. Jay's hat was as crooked as his smile and he was smiling stupidly as he began to sing along with Bon Jovi. He stood in front of her and extended a hand. "Let's dance."

"Oh, no!" Emma protested, remembering their awkward dance at the bar. "I'm just your ride, not your dance partner."

"Come on, Nelson," he smirked widely. He grabbed her hand and wrapped it around his neck, swaying to the music.

"Jay! I have to get home. Come on. I'll help you get to bed and then..."

Emma had no idea how he did it, but Jay could use that famous smirk of his for so many different ways. Most times it was annoying, but tonight, standing in his living room, Jay's smirk was a sexy come on that scared the hell out of Emma.

"Bed? Sounds great! Let's go!" and off he headed to his bedroom. Emma stood in the living room until she heard Jay yell, "Come on, Nelson. Bedtime!"

Emma rolled her eyes, but followed Jay into the back bedroom. She suddenly realized that the last time she'd been here was the last day Manny had ever been in this apartment. She took a deep breath and entered the room.

The bed, with the floral bedspread Manny had loved, was perfectly made, telling Emma that Jay had not slept here since Manny had gone to the hospital. Jay was sitting now on a chair in the corner, pulling off his shoes and struggling with the buckle on the belt of his pants.

"Okay, well, I'm gonna go," Emma announced.

Jay looked up at Emma's face and remembered where he was. "I...I...I can't b...be...here."

Emma gave him a questioning look. "I don't understand."

Jay swallowed, his throat drier than a desert. "I can't sl...sleep in th...that bed."

Emma fought back tears, feeling Jay's pain through his words. She went over to where he was and kneeled in front of him. "You have to eventually. So why not make tonight the first night?"

Jay shook his head and then stopped, looking at Emma sadly. "Stay here with me," he whispered. "Just until I fall asleep."

Emma was so wrought with emotion hearing the desperation in Jay's voice as he asked her to stay with him. Manny had warned Emma that Jay would never ask for her help, but here he was, not asking, but begging for her to help him over yet another hurdle. How could she tell him no?

She nodded her head and helped him into the bed. He crawled under the covers and then lay there motionless. Emma stood by the nightstand, mentally wrestling with the idea of laying in this bed next to Jay.

"I won't bite," Jay told her.

Emma chose to remain on top of the covers, laying her head on Manny's pillow and sighing heavily. She felt the warm sting of tears as they seeped out of the corners of her eyes, falling silently onto the pillow that had once held the head of her best friend. She hadn't allowed herself to think of Manny's passing and realize just how very much she missed her.

"You're crying," Jay pointed out, touching her tear-stained cheek with a finger.

He was lying on his side, hand tucked under his cheek like a child, staring at Emma. His hair was tousled, but the look worked for him. Jay Hogart, even as a broken man who looked more like a child, emulated that husky sexiness women fawn over.

"I'm thinking of Manny," Emma said in a hushed tone. "I miss her so much."

It was Jay's turn to console Emma, as he gathered her into his arms and held her shaking body as it wept. She didn't care that she was lying in a bed with Jay. Emma held onto him for dear life as she cried until no more tears would come. It was a very sobering experience for Jay.

He smoothed back her long, blond hair and whispered endearing words into her ear. And then it struck him. How long had it been since he'd been this close with anyone? Since someone needed him more than he needed them? He closed his eyes and breathed in the scent of Emma that filled the room. Her scent was so very different from Manny's. Emma was soft and natural, whereas Manny was spicy and exotic.

But there was no comparison, and Jay knew that. Manny, his wife, was gone. Emma, his friend and support, was here.

Jay leaned toward Emma and kissed her lips, gently at first, and then with more passion than even he had expected.

Emma felt herself give over to Jay, surrendering her inhibitions in place of wild abandon. For them, the kiss was both innocent and sexual in nature, and hardly enough.

But Jay worried that if he took his lips from Emma's, to give in to his need for more, she would have time to come to her senses and deny him what he wanted most. So he continued to weave his spell over her lips, tasting her right down to her very soul, and enjoying every minute of it. Emma let out a small moan and Jay wondered what it would be like to really make her moan.

Against his better judgement, Jay decided to go for it, rolling Emma over, onto her back, supporting his weight on top of her with his arms. His hand moved to her side, rubbing it gently, until her shirt crept up, revealing a patch of warm, smooth skin. He placed his hand there, not moving for the longest time, but when Emma failed to protest its location, he swept his hand under her shirt, inching it up.

Emma's head was swimming, as if she'd spent the night drinking all the alcohol her body could handle. All sense had flown out the window and she was giving over to the passion floating in the room like electricity. When Jay's hand touched her bare skin, Emma felt a jolt go through her, like she'd just touched a live wire. How long had it been since she'd felt like this? Too long.

They lay on that bed, embarking on a new journey of exploration, as their hands wandered aimlessly over each other's bodies, their tongues melding together endlessly, and, most importantly, their hearts, beating in time, creating their own wonderful piece of music.

But the best things are sometimes fleeting, as was this. Emma opened her eyes and took in her surroundings and what she was doing. She pressed her hands against Jay's chest and sat up, sending him onto his back beside her. She got up from the bed and said, "Sean."

Jay smirked. "No. Jay."

"This isn't some kind of joke, Jay!" Emma warned, her face contorted by her conflicting emotions. "What the hell am I doing?"

Jay sat up and loosely hugged his knees. "Something you want to do."

Emma pushed him until he fell over. "Stop it! This is serious!"

Jay got to his feet and stood in front of Emma. He tried to hug her, but she pushed him away and walked out of the room. Jay caught her arm just as she was opening the door. He shut it, leaning against the door, still holding Emma's arm. "Don't leave."

"I can't stay here! I can't be here, not after what just happened!"

"We kissed, Emma. Nothing happened that can't be undone. It's okay."

Emma bit her lower lip, hoping the pain would stop the tears that were threatening to come. "It's so not okay, Jay. I kissed you! I'm with Sean! And you're..."

Jay waited for her to finish her sentence. When she didn't, he offered, "A bastard? A loser?"

Emma stared at her feet as she whispered, "If you were this would be so much easier."

Jay knew at that moment that his relationship with Emma Nelson had taken a different road. And the truth was that Jay didn't feel the need to put up a front with her. She was the only person he could cry with and laugh with and remember with. Being with Emma didn't hurt, in a world when almost everything else did. So how could he let her just walk right out of his life?

"I feel like if you leave, you're hitting the road and I'll never see you again," Jay admitted.

"How can things ever be the same again?" Emma asked, searching his eyes for the answer. What she found there scared her far more than any words ever could.

"So what now?" Jay asked, pressing the issue. "You go back to Cameron and pretend like everything's okay?"

"I love Sean!" she shouted. "I love him!"

"Who you trying to convince, honey?" he asked, smirking once again.

"I don't have to take this. Not from you! I'm leaving!"

Jay refused to step aside. "You're not going anywhere."

Emma shot him a deadly stare. "So what? You're holding me hostage now?"

Jay reached out and pulled her to him. He hugged her tightly, but not to hurt her. He buried his face in her vanilla-scented hair and sighed heavily. "I know how short life can be. If I'd known I'd lose Manny so quickly, I'd have done so many things differently. It's why I rock Emily to sleep every night. It's why I'm holding you right now."

Emma closed her eyes. She tried to remember the last true hug she'd had before this one and couldn't. She felt like she and Sean were just two passing ships most of the time. Emma was pulled in a million different directions and Sean was less than understanding. But still, he didn't deserve this.

"I can't, Jay. I have to think about Sean."

Jay nodded his head, refusing to loosen his grasp on her. "I know. But right now, think about me. I need you, Emma. I need you."

"You need someone. You don't need me."

Jay pulled away from her, holding her at arms length, staring into her eyes. "You were the last person I wanted to need, Nelson."

Emma smiled. "This is so messy. Do you have any idea how very messy this will all be if we go where you're asking me to go?"

Jay nodded his head. "Sometimes life gets messy. But the messiest things are usually the best."

"What am I doing? You almost had me convinced this is something I want!" she exclaimed. She turned away from Jay, then back again. "You are so on the rebound and I am taken."

"Me, rebound? Probably. You, taken? Definitely. Us, together? World War Three! So who the hell cares?"

Emma tried to steady her breath as Jay gave her that 'come hither' look. She had been spending the last six months, since Manny's death, and the two months preceding that, with Jay. Never, in all of that time, had she felt this magnetic pull toward him. And then it struck her like lightning.

That day in the living room, when Jay had been drunk. Hugging him, with her cheek pressed against his back, listening to him sob, giving in to her own raging emotions. She had felt something that day, but had brushed it off. The night when Jay had phoned her about Emily's fever. When he helped her up and she was pulled into his muscular chest. She had felt it that day too. As she searched her memory of the last few months, Emma knew that there were plenty of times when she had felt it, that indescribable tingle, just being around Jay. When was the last time she had felt that tingle with Sean?

"You okay?" Jay asked, after several moments of watching Emma deep in thought. "You look a million miles away."

"I should be a million miles away from here. I have to go," she whispered, barely able to catch her breath.

Jay noticed the breathless way Emma spoke those words, and gave her a curious look. "You wanna sit down?"

She shook her head and swallowed, but the air just wouldn't come. She flashed back to that day, long ago, when she had had her first panic attack. She had felt like there was a weight crushing down on top of her chest. She felt that way now. Her breathing became forced and heavy, as she dropped to her knees.

Jay dropped to his too, looking fearfully at Emma. "What do I do? What do I do?" he asked her, his voice frantic.

"I...c...an't...br...ea...the. G...et...me...a...b...ag," she managed to get out, trying to steady her breath.

Jay ran to the kitchen and was back in a flash, holding a paper bag up to Emma's face, rubbing her back gently. His heart felt like it was on pause, refusing to beat until Emma's breathing returned to normal and she was okay.

When Emma's breathing finally steadied, Jay sat back against the opposite wall, and yelled, "What the hell was that?"

Emma leaned back until her back was against the wall of Jay's entrance. "I have panic attacks."

Jay shook his head. "You nearly gave me a heart attack! Don't you ever do that to me again!"

Emma dropped her head and said, "I haven't had one of those in a really long time. Don't you see? I can't do this. I need order in my messed up life."

Jay knew that Emma had had some major problems in her life, Manny having shared the details with him early on in their relationship. He knew that she struggled with anorexia and that in her counselling, she had been told stress could lead to a relapse. That was the last thing he wanted for her.

Emma got to her feet, albeit unsteadily, and opened Jay's door. He made no effort to stop her this time. She turned back to him and said, "I want you to know that I'll still always be here...for Emily. And I'm going to tell Sean. I'm so sorry."

Jay had no idea what to say, so he remained silent, as Emma walked out of the door, shutting it quietly behind her. And, as he walked back into his bedroom, collapsing onto the bed where he had lain with Emma moments before, he sighed heavily. He had thought that losing Manny was the worst thing he would ever have to go through. Now he knew how wrong that really was.

**Hope you like these last few chapters. I'll try to update soon! How will Sean react to Emma's confession? Will Jay be able to stay away from Emma? Please review!**


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**Thanks for the wonderful reviews! I hope that I can continue to please. I skipped ahead a bit with this chapter, since I don't want the story to get too long. Hope you enjoy!**

Six more months went by and things changed drastically for Sean, Emma, and Jay. Time can sometimes work miracles, smoothing out the rough patches in relationships and life in general. But time never makes you forget. Never.

FLASHBACK

_Emma had gone home that evening, to find Sean passed out, lying face down across their bed, snoring wildly. Emma left him to sleep, hoping that she herself would be able to get some well needed rest. Unfortunately, she wasn't even able to close her eyes as the seconds ticked by like hours. She played over in her head just how she would tell Sean what had happened with Jay. _

_Sean slept in until noon, making Emma even more crazy as she waited, debating whether or not to stir him. And then, completely hung over, Sean took a forty minute shower and ate a slow lunch. He had barely uttered a word to Emma, only asking what time she'd gotten in at._

"_I think we should talk," Emma began._

_Sean looked up from his cereal that was drenched in milk and spilling over the side of the bowl slightly. "I'm really not feeling all that great right now, Em. Is it important?"_

_Emma nodded. "It's very important."_

_Emma sat down at the table, across from Sean, gripping her coffee cup as if it would offer her the strength she needed to get through this conversation. "It's about Jay."_

_Sean's head popped up and he stared at Emma. "Jay?"_

"_I want you to know that it was a total mistake and will never happen again."_

"_Just spit it out, Emma," Sean said, fear growing in the pit of his stomach. He thought about the dance they had shared at the bar last night. He remembered watching them standing on the dance floor, holding each other tenderly, as the music changed from a slow to a fast song. _

_Emma took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "I kissed Jay last night."_

_Sean swallowed. So there it is. Emma had kissed Jay. Now what? He left the silence hang in the air for eight uncomfortable minutes. Emma knew Sean was processing what she had just confessed, but his facial expression gave nothing away. Emma prepared herself for the worst; for Sean telling her to take a hike._

_When Sean finally found his voice, he said the last thing Emma was expecting. "I think we should get married," Sean blurted out._

_Emma gave him an incredulous look. "What?"_

"_I think we should get married," Sean repeated._

"_I tell you that I kissed your best friend and you say we should get married?"_

_Sean scratched the top of his head. "It can't come as a surprise that I want to marry you."_

"_No, it doesn't. I've been waiting for years for you to propose to me. It's just that I never pictured it like this. It's not exactly romantic."_

"_Is that a yes or a no?" Sean pushed._

END OF FLASHBACK

Emma and Sean had debated the issue for several hours, but in the end, Emma accepted Sean's offer. They never spoke of the incident with her and Jay again. But it hung over their relationship like a large, dark umbrella, blocking out the sunshine of what could have been.

And, as Sean and Emma tried to enjoy the next step in their union, Jay tried to move forward and forget about Emma.

The biggest change was that Jay was no longer working for Sean, or talking to him for that matter. Sure, he'd been thinking of leaving Cameron's Custom Cars anyway, but Sean's vengeful temper had put Jay's plan into action a whole lot quicker.

FLASHBACK

_Jay arrived at work early that Monday morning, hoping to speak to Sean before the other workers arrived. He knew that Emma wasn't lying when she threatened to tell Sean, so Jay prepared himself for a battle royale. He, unfortunately, was caught off guard as he walked in the front door, straight into Sean's fist._

"_I guess I deserved that," Jay agreed, rubbing his jaw._

_Sean shot him a look, trying to remember a time when he had considered this guy to be his best friend. "I'd kill you if I thought I could get away with it."_

_Jay nodded his head. "Does this mean I'm fired?"_

"_Your humour won't get you anywhere here. You're supposed to be my friend, man. How could you do that?"_

_Jay cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, man."_

_Jay felt that it was better to say less. Because the truth was, Jay didn't regret kissing Emma. He'd had all weekend to think this over and it dawned on him that what he was feeling for Emma wasn't right, but it didn't feel entirely wrong either. For the first time since Manny's death, Jay wasn't wallowing in the pain of her loss. Now he was stressing over losing Emma. As good of a friend as Sean was, he knew he would risk it all to be with Emma._

"_Sorry doesn't cut it!" Sean yelled, thankful that it was just him and Jay there. He didn't want his other employees seeing him like this. "I get that you're fucked up since Manny. But that doesn't give you the right to try getting with my girlfriend. You don't even like Emma."_

_Jay could have been honest with Sean; that Emma was all he thought about lately and that he owed her the world for all she'd done for him. But how could he say that to Sean?_

"_Stay the hell away from Emma or the next time it'll be more than just your jaw!" Sean warned, turning away from Jay. He took a few steps, but stopped outside of his office door. He turned back and said, "Oh, and you're fired!"_

END OF FLASHBACK

So Jay went back to Al, tail between his legs, and begged for his job back. Fortunately, Al was not the type to hold grudges. In fact, he was so happy to have Jay back, he put his original offer of Jay buying the business, back on the table. It didn't take a second for Jay to accept Al's generous offer. Four months later, Jay was the owner and operator of a successful mechanic's garage.

Emily was continuing to grow like a wildflower, thriving in her exploration and wonderment of all things new. She had just celebrated her first birthday, the first time Sean, Emma, and Jay found themselves together since that night long ago. To say things were tense, would be an understatement, but the number of people there to send their warm wishes to Emily, made the feud between Sean and Jay less obvious..

And so, time went on. But still, Jay couldn't deny how he felt seeing Emma that day. She had cut some of her long tresses off and the work helped create a sophisticated, more mature look for Emma. Something else was different too. Emma was sporting a large, princess cut diamond ring on a very important finger. Jay felt his breath knocked out of his chest, as he tried to busy himself helping Emily open her hoards of presents, and forget about what he had seen and how it made him feel.

And Emma didn't have to verbalize her emotions to have them felt. Jay looked great. He'd also cut his locks, opting for a closer, more neat cut. Obviously he was taking his business seriously, changing not only his hair, but his form of dress too. He was wearing a button up top and slacks. Even in his casual dress, Jay still looked edgy and sensual. She attempted to hide her ring, that Sean had recently purchased, but realized that Jay's eyes had already fixed to it and now he was avoiding her and anything she may have to tell him.

Sean watched his girlfriend's expression change to one of sadness as she followed Jay's movements. He knew that things in their relationship had been more than tense, and cutting Jay out of his life still hadn't eased his own personal pain over what had happened. At times, when Sean was alone, he would ponder leaving Emma and if that would make him feel better. On certain occasions, when he was feeling completely detached from Emma, leaving felt like the right thing to do for everyone. But, in the end, Sean couldn't deny the love his heart still felt for her.

So three people suffered and not one of them knew how to make things better. All they knew was that life was difficult and the choices they had made weren't making things any easier...

**Please review!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

**I know lots of you wanted to know how Sean would react to the situation between Emma and Jay. Sorry if you were disappointed with the last chapter, but read on...**

"Em?" Sean called, flying through the door of their apartment, slamming the door behind him.

"In the kitchen!" she called.

Sean entered the kitchen slowly, but instead of kissing Emma, who was stirring something in a large pot on the stove, instead he leaned against the far counter.

"Everything okay?" Emma asked, checking the digital time on the nearby microwave, and seeing that Sean was home earlier than usual. "I was just making some tomato sauce. You know, to put in the freezer. Just stocking up. I can make some noodles if you're hungry though."

Sean shook his head. "When you've finished up, I'd like to talk with you."

Emma smiled at him, realizing, as Sean left the kitchen, that he hadn't kissed her. Sean always kissed her when he got in from work. She held her breath as she covered the large pot with a lid, and left her tomato sauce to simmer. Sean had gone into their bedroom, probably to change, so she decided to join him there, wondering what it was he wanted to talk about.

They had yet to set a wedding date, neither wanting to pressure the other into something so permanent. Emma knew that Sean's proposal came more out of jealousy than love. Sean knew that Emma's acceptance came more out of guilt than love. The knowledge of this hung over their relationship, making things between them very strained.

Emma entered the bedroom nervously, offering Sean, who was sitting on the edge of the bed, staring off into space, a small smile. She sat down beside him, feet dangling off the high bed.

When Sean failed to say anything to her, or look at her for that matter, Emma asked, "You had something you wanted to talk about?"

Sean finally turned to Emma, gathering her small hands into his large and calloused ones. "Tracker came into town today."

Emma smiled. Was this what he wanted to talk to her about? Maybe Tracker needed a place to stay while he was in town? Emma breathed a sigh of relief, sure that whatever it was, everything between she and Sean would be okay.

"How is he?" Emma asked.

"He's in town for business," Sean said dryly, side-stepping her question. "Tracker and I have been talking lately about opening another location."

Emma's smile grew. "Sean! That's so great! I can't believe you didn't tell me! I am so proud of you! And how great is it that Tracker will be back here too?"

Sean shook his head. "You don't understand. Tracker wants to open a shop out west."

Emma narrowed her eyes. "Another Cameron's Custom Cars?"

Sean nodded his head. "It's something we've been toying around with for a while. Tracker's got the working capital, but he hasn't got a clue how to get things started up. I'm going to help him."

Emma cleared her throat. "So you're telling me that you're going to Alberta?"

"That's exactly what I'm telling you," Sean agreed, an unmistakable edge to his voice.

"For how long?"

"I already talked to John and he's okay with keeping things on the go with the store here. I feel confident he can run the business exactly the same way I would if I were here," Sean explained.

"How long?" Emma pressed.

Sean looked away from her as he responded. "At least six months, but could be as long as a year."

Emma grabbed Sean's arm, forcing him to look at her. "I don't understand. I mean, I need a little bit more notice for my job if I'm taking that kind of time off, Sean."

Sean wet his dry lips and, once again, took Emma's hands in his. "I don't think you should come."

Emma's mouth dropped open. What was he trying to tell her? "You don't want me to come?"

"Emma. I'm searching for a way to tell you this with the least amount of pain. But the truth is, there's no easy way to tell someone you want time away from them."

"You want time away from me?" she asked, hurt evident in her small voice.

"I do. I know this is gonna hurt, but I really need you to just listen. No Emma butt-ins or opinions, okay? Just listen," he paused. Taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly, did not help Sean feel any less nervous. He decided to just get on with it, however painful it may be. "You know that I love you. And I know that you love me. But we can't deny that things haven't been as good as they once were. I'd marry you tomorrow if I thought it was what we both really wanted, but it's not. Getting married would be the wrong thing, for both of us."

"Is this because of wh...what happened?" she asked, not even wanting to bring it up.

"A little. I can't say that I'm not hurt that you kissed Jay. I lost my best friend because you couldn't just be honest with me. You fell for him because you fell out with me. But I wasn't happy in our relationship long before the thing with you and Jay."

"Why didn't you say something?"

"Why didn't you?" Sean shot back. He shook his head. "At least I didn't take my misery and add another person to the mix."

Emma nodded her head, understanding that Sean needed to do this. Obviously he'd been thinking about this for quite some time now. "Did the whole thing with Jay...did that lead to this thing with Tracker?"

Sean sighed. "Yes. I need to get away from here...from you. Because when I see your beautiful face, I wanna make it work so badly, I'd settle for less than I deserve. But the absolute truth is that I don't want to be with you, much less marry you."

Emma felt the hot sting of tears as Sean spoke. He had let go of her hands and Emma suddenly felt cold and abandoned. Sean's words stung more than any slap ever could. He didn't want to be with her and their epic story had reached its disappointing conclusion.

**How will Emma deal with her pain of losing Sean? Please review!**


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, except the character of Emily...**

**Hope you like...**

"Hey, Emma? Phone for you! Line three!"

Emma smiled at her secretary and picked up her phone, pressing the third extension, and saying, "This is Emma Nelson."

"Oh, Emma. It's Mrs Hanson. I'm so sorry to disturb you at work."

Emma turned her full attention to the phone, instead of the computer screen in front of her. "Mrs. Hanson? Is Emily okay?"

"Oh, Emily is fine. It's just that I have a family emergency and I can't get in touch with Jayson. I need to be out of town for a few days. My husband just booked us a flight out and it's leaving in a few hours. Do you think you could come get Emily?" Jay's babysitter asked.

Emma was on her feet, grabbing her purse and coat. "No problem. I'll be there in a few minutes."

"Should I keep trying to get Jayson?"

Emma shook her head, tucking the phone in the crook of her neck, as she made her way around her small office, gathering up some work to take with her. "Don't worry about it, Mrs. Hanson. I'll come and get Emily right away."

Emma was actually excited at the thought of getting to see Emily. She arrived at Mrs. Hanson's house within the hour, after making a brief stop at her parents' house to pick up a car seat. Seeing Emily, reminded Emma that it had been way too long since she'd gotten to see or spend any time with her niece, and she missed the little girl terribly.

"Auntie Emmy!! I come with you?" she asked, holding her arms out to Emma, as she scooped her up and gave her a fierce hug.

"That's right, baby girl! You and I get to spend the whole day together!" Emma exclaimed. She turned her attention to Mrs. Hanson, who was holding Emily's bag and coat. "Is everything okay?"

The older lady smiled, ruffling Emily's dark locks, as she helped the girl into her small, pink coat. "My mother took a fall and will be out of commission for a while. I'm sure once we get there, we'll find someone to care for her over the next few weeks, but I need to be there right now. I feel so badly about this; leaving Jayson without so much as notice. I tried the shop again, but someone told me that he was still out. Will you tell him how sorry I am?"

Emma gave the lady a brief hug, and picked up Emily, along with all of her belongings. "Don't worry about a thing. Have a safe trip and if you could let Jay know when you'll be back, that'll be fine."

Emma had already secured Emily's car seat in the backseat of her vehicle, so she slung the little girl in, buckling her and pinching her nose, sending her into giggles. She got into the front seat and looked at her car keys. She still had the key to Jay's apartment on her ring; the one that Manny had given her so long ago. It had been forever since she'd used it, but now she was relieved she'd kept it. At least at the apartment, Emily would have all of her toys and Emma could keep her occupied until she got in touch with Jay.

Two hours later, Emma placed a sleepy girl down into her oak crib, sneaked out of her small, pink bedroom, and shut the door behind her. Emma looked down at her dressy clothes, covered in the lunch she had tried to serve to Emily. She gingerly touched her hair, making a face, as she realized that she had mashed potatoes quickly hardening in her hair.

Feeling exhausted, and dirty, Emma walked into the bathroom, investigating the look of herself in the large mirror. She tried to comb the mess out of her hair, with no luck. Emma sighed heavily, rolling up the sleeve of her white blouse, peering at her golden watch. It was only one o'clock and Emily would be down for at least an hour. Would it hurt to get herself cleaned up a bit?

Emma shed her clothing in lightning time, wrapping a towel around herself and tip-toeing quickly to the small storage room where Jay kept the washer and dryer. She threw her clothes into the washing machine, looked in on Emily, grabbed the monitor, and headed into the bathroom.

She hopped into the shower, letting the warm water run over her slender body. She smiled to herself seeing Emily's bath toys in a mesh sling that was suction-cupped to the wall of the shower. Emma tried to imagine Jay leaning over the bathtub, playing with Emily as she splashed around in the big, white tub. If Emily was anything like she was in her high chair, Emma guessed Jay probably got just as soaked as Emily herself!

She rinsed her hair and let herself indulge in a few more moments of warmth, as the water rushed over her. Finally, she turned off the shower, grabbed her towel and rubbed it through her soaking hair. Satisfied it was as dry as the towel would allow, she stepped from the shower, wrapping the towel around her body, fastening it over the swell of her breasts.

She picked up the monitor and put it to her ear, listening to make sure that Emily was still sleeping. Satisfied that Emily was still focused on her slumber, Emma left the bathroom, clad only in the fluffy, blue towel, to check on the progress of her clothes.

Before Emma made it to the storage room, she ran into Jay, who had just come in the door.

"Uh, hi," Emma stammered, trying to cover herself with her arms.

Jay couldn't help but stare, seeing Emma in that towel, hair dripping down her back. "Hi."

Emma, feeling especially self-conscious in her state of undress, asked, "What are you doing home?"

Jay thought the question was funny, given that this was his house, and laughed heartily. "Mrs. Hanson left a message at my work. She said she had to go out of town and that you'd picked up Emily. I was out all morning, but when I got back to work, I thought I'd come make sure everything was okay. I called, but there was no answer."

Emma swung her body around and pointed at the bathroom. "I was in the shower."

Jay smirked. He liked the idea of her being naked in his place. It somehow felt right. "Not that I'm complaining, but why are you in a towel?"

Emma felt her cheeks go crimson under Jay's stare. "I was feeding Emily lunch and she basically doused me in it. I put my clothes in the washing machine and thought I'd have a shower while she was napping. I was just going to put my clothes in the dryer."

Jay nodded his head. "How about you do that and I'll get you something else to wear? Unless you wanna stay in the towel?"

Emma gave him a sarcastic look and headed into the storage room. Jay peeked into Emily's room, happy she was sleeping soundly and hoping she would stay that way for a while. He closed the door to Emily's bedroom over, sauntering into his room, to find Emma something to wear. He found a t-shirt that would probably swim on her, but decided that wouldn't be any better than the towel. So he settled for the never-worn brown housecoat Manny had given him their first Christmas together. Jay was not the housecoat sort of guy, so it remained hanging on the back of the closet door, completely brand new.

He met Emma in the hallway, handing her the robe. "Never worn, so don't worry."

Emma smiled, shyly, shutting the bathroom door behind her, as she began to change into the robe. She combed her long hair back from her face, smoothing it out, before putting on the robe. She lifted the collar, smelling it and smiling; it smelled like Jay, even though he said it had never been worn.

Emma tried to steady her breath, as she peered at her reflection in the bathroom mirror. She hadn't been alone with Jay since that night, when they had lain together in his bed, close to doing something they both would have regretted. And now... Now things were so very different.

"So, thanks for picking up Emily today," Jay said, his back to Emma, digging into the back of his refrigerator, as Emma entered the kitchen. He straightened, holding an apple, closing the door of the fridge. He looked at Emma, clad in his robe, and wondered why it never looked that good on him.

"It's no big deal. I was actually glad to get to spend some time with her," Emma admitted. "I can't believe how much she's talking!"

Jay smiled. "You say that like it's a good thing! She's a non-stop babbler. Two nights ago, she woke up at, like, three in the morning, and just started talking to herself. It went on for almost an hour! I went into work the next day like a zombie!"

Emma smiled at him, drawing the tie around her waist a bit tighter. "And that hair! It's gotten so long!"

Jay shook his head, taking a bite of his red apple. He chewed and swallowed, before confessing, "I am totally out of my element with the whole hair thing. I can do the ponytail, but that's as technical as I get."

"Barrettes are great in that department!" Emma suggested. "You don't need any kind of hair skill to work them. I can pick some up for you."

Jay leaned back against the counter, happy to have her here and hoping the moment wouldn't end too quickly. "Thanks."

Emma looked at the ceiling, wishing her clothes were dry so she could get out of Jay's robe.

"So how have you been?" Jay asked, hoisting himself up onto the counter. He dangled his legs back and forth, reminding Emma of Jack, who loved to do the same thing in his kitchen at home. In a lot of ways, Jay was still juvenile, but then one couldn't forget that he was raising Emily all by himself and doing a great job of it.

Emma nodded her head. "Fine. You?"

"Busy."

Suddenly Jay couldn't think of a thing to say. He wanted to tell Emma everything, but didn't know where to start. He wanted her to know how well his business was doing and that he knew how to cook four different vegetarian dishes. He wanted to tell her that he vacuumed his apartment once a week and taught Emily to put her toys away when she was done playing with them. He held back from telling her that he'd finally gotten rid of Manny's things, donating them to the Goodwill, and that it had broken his heart to do it, but he felt better afterwards. And most of all, he wanted to tell her that he missed her in his life every single day since she'd left his apartment all those months ago.

But he didn't.

As the buzzer went off on the dryer, and Emma went to go get changed, Jay clenched his fists, angry at himself for being so scared of his own emotions. He hopped down from the counter top, turning and banging his head off the cupboard door.

"That's completely counter-productive," Emma commented, surprising Jay.

Jay turned to face Emma, finding her dressed for success in her white blouse and short, black skirt. She looked so professional and yet you couldn't help but notice her undeniable sex appeal. He tried to steady his breath.

"I should probably get going," Emma said, grabbing her coat and purse from the back of one of the chairs. "Tell Emily that we'll plan another girls' day soon."

Jay nodded his head and followed her to the door. _Say something, you idiot! She's gonna leave and you have no idea when you'll see her again! Say something! Say anything!_

"I wanted to say sorry about Sean," Jay blurted. _Why would you bring up his name?_

Emma didn't know if Jay knew about her breakup with Sean, but hearing him say that told her he obviously did. She looked down at her hand, her ring finger bare. Even though she knew Sean had done the right thing, she still missed him.

"Thanks. It was for the best."

Jay pursed his lips tightly. "I don't know if he told you or not, but he came by before he left. He wanted to sort of patch things up. I guess he didn't want to leave town with bad blood between us."

"That's good. I'm glad you two worked things out."

Jay stared at her. "Well we talked, so I guess that's a start."

Emma smiled up at him. "Anyway, I have to go."

"Okay, well, thanks again for watching Emily."

Emma grabbed the bronze knob of the door handle and opened the door slightly. She stepped forward, to walk through it, when she felt Jay's hand on her wrist.

"Emily and I would like you to come over for dinner this weekend," he offered.

Emma stopped and turned to face Jay. "Really?"

Jay smirked. "Well it was more of Emily's idea than mine, but she's the princess, so she usually gets what she wants. Will you come?"

Emma's smile widened. "How could I say no to the princess?"

**Story will be wrapping up soon, so keep reading. And, as promised, there will be some of that Jemma lovin' we so desperately need! Please review!**


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi, except the character of Emily...**

Emma wished her week away, waiting for Saturday night to come, when she would have dinner with Jay and Emily. She tried to tell herself that it was just dinner, as she dressed in her slim fit, black pants and corset style top. She liked the effect of the red corset; how it slimmed her waist and accentuated her bust. But, looking in the mirror, she realized that Jay would see exactly what was on Emma's mind if she wore this. So, she grabbed a black blazer and buttoned it up, still revealing some of her generous bust line. (She didn't want Jay to think she wasn't interested at all.)

She tried not to think about her intentions, as she packed a toothbrush into her purse. Was she planning to spend the night? Is that what Jay wanted? Emma felt like she was sixteen again, wondering if she'd let the guy she was dating get to second base. She was aware that the thought of sleeping with Jay had crossed her mind a million times; it was why she was wearing her sexiest pair of underwear. But she had to remind herself to play it cool, that Jay had only invited her to dinner.

In the meantime, Jay was busy getting the apartment in order, getting Emily washed up and under control, and making Chili-Cumin Rice and Bean Skillet, his newest vegetarian recipe, that actually wasn't so bad. He hoped it wouldn't look like he was trying too hard, but he really wanted Emma to see that he was making an effort.

"Emily! Daddy said no crayons!" Jay called, peeking out of the kitchen at Emily, who was sitting on the living room floor, attempting to open the crayon container. "No crayons!"

He heard the knock come on the door and felt panic rise. She was here! If ever there was meant to be anything between Jay Hogart and Emma Nelson, this night would determine it all. Jay wiped the sweat from his brow and walked to the door.

"Hi," Emma greeted with a smile.

Jay stood, holding the door for support. She looked fabulous and Jay struggled to find words that didn't elude to her wonderful breasts, thrust forward and staring him in the face.

"Can I come in?" she asked, breaking him from his dirty thoughts.

Jay held the door open wider, smiling as Emma walked past him. Emily came running into the hallway, throwing herself into Emma's arms.

"Auntie Emmy! You play with me?" the little girl asked, wrapping her legs around Emma as if not giving her any choice.

Jay finally found his voice. "Dinner should be ready soon. You two can go play for a bit. Want something to drink?"

Emma shook her head and put Emily down, following her into the living room. Jay heard his daughter tell Emma that they were going to play 'colour'. He held his breath, frustrated that Emily was disobeying him. He began to walk into the living room, until he heard Emma say, "I don't think so, missy! No crayons. Let's read a book."

Jay smiled to himself, pleased that Emma was instinctively on the same track as him, and walked back into the kitchen. He quickly put the finishing touches on dinner, and called the two girls into the kitchen.

Emma picked up Emily, bringing the squirming girl into the kitchen, where Jay had set the small table very neatly.

"It smells delicious!" Emma praised, seating Emily in her high chair. "Can I help with anything?"

Jay smiled wide. "Nope. Just be gentle okay? If it tastes like crap, remember that I tried my best."

Emma was pleasantly surprised when Jay served the Chili-Cumin Rice and Bean Skillet. She was half expecting to see a steak on her plate, but was shocked when Jay revealed a vegetarian dish instead. And as good as it looked, it tasted even better. Emma was happy that Jay had made such an effort, and saw it as a good sign for their future together.

When dinner was over, Jay cleaned up the kitchen, while Emma took Emily in for a bath. She liked playing around with the little girl, splashing in the tub with all of her toys, and getting soaked in the process. When Emily was clean and finished playing, Emma wrapped her in a towel and brought her to her bedroom, to put on her jammies and get her ready for bed.

"How goes it in here?" Jay asked, entering Emily's room to see Emma rocking a sleeping girl.

"We were reading a story and I guess she fell asleep. I didn't want to disturb her," Emma whispered, placing a gentle kiss on Emily head.

Jay smiled, walking into the room, and taking the sleeping girl from Emma's arms, commented, "Lucky for me, my little girl's a sound sleeper."

Jay placed Emily into her crib, pulling her blankets over her, and kissing her softly. He motioned for Emma to follow him out of the room, and closed the door behind them. They walked into the living room and Emma smiled, seeing that Jay had brought some wine and glasses in. He sure was pulling out all the stops!

"Wine?" Emma questioned, raising a suspicious eyebrow. "You trying to get me drunk, Hogart?"

Jay smirked, uncorking the wine bottle and pouring some into a glass. He handed the glass to Emma, joking, "You know me too well, Nelson."

"Nice to see that Emily hasn't softened you too much!"

They smiled at each other, sitting down on opposite ends of the couch, enjoying the red wine and each other's company. Emma tried to calm the excessive beating of her heart, while Jay worked to regain a steady breath.

"Why does this feel so weird?" Emma asked, breaking the awkward silence.

"Maybe because it's so right," Jay offered.

**Two more to go! Enjoy!**


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer: I own nothing Degrassi...**

"Omigod! I totally forgot all about that!" Emma squealed, hitting Jay's arm with her hand. She was laughing hysterically as she and Jay sat on his living room floor, reminiscing about old times.

"You totally kicked Alex's ass that day! I had to drive her home, listening to her bitch about how she was so gonna beat you down," Jay admitted. He leaned forward, as if letting Emma in on some kind of secret. "My money was so on you."

Emma smiled wide. Her smile faded as she remembered finding Snake's will that day. She was so scared that Snake's cancer was going to take him away from her. Alex had simply been in her path that day. But to say she was sorry it had happened, would have been a complete lie. She and Alex were destined for that fight. If it hadn't happened that day, it would have been some other day. It was hard to believe that they were actually kind of friends now.

"You okay?" Jay asked, breaking into her far away thoughts.

Emma nodded. "I was remembering why I fought with Alex that day. I found Snake's will and I thought that he was dying. I was so upset and Alex just got in my way. I was surprised I never got the ass-kicking of my life for that day."

Jay sniffed, taking an extra long sip of his wine. He'd forgotten about Simpson's illness. He'd also forgotten about the pain he'd helped to inflict on Emma during that time. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Emma?"

"Huh?"

"I never said that I was sorry for all the crappy things I did to you during that time."

Emma shifted in her spot on the floor. "It's okay. It was a long time ago."

"Yeah, but I did a lot of stupid things. I really am sorry," he said quietly.

Emma leaned forward and hugged Jay. "Thank you."

Jay hugged Emma tightly, wrapping his arms tightly around her small frame. He buried his face into her hair, breathing in the memory of her scent. He had missed this so much. Laughing with her, talking with her, feeling her, enjoying her. No matter what happened, Jay wanted this to be a beginning.

"I want to be with you," Jay whispered, holding his breath, as he waited for Emma's response, fearing this would be a repeat of the last time they were together.

"Me too," Emma answered.

Jay pulled away from her, holding her at arms length, staring at her with a slow, spreading smile. "Really?"

Emma nodded her head. "Of course. More than anything."

Jay pulled her back toward him, pressing his lips to hers, savouring the taste he'd been desiring for too long. Emma kissed him back, testing the waters as she tentatively ran her tongue along his lips, which opened willingly to her. They tasted each other fully, pressing their bodies to each other, hands massaging through clothing they wished would just fall away.

Jay, once again, pulled away from Emma. This time his hands found the buttons of her black blazer, undoing them one by one, until he revealed the red corset. He let out a long breath, music to Emma's ears, as she realized that Jay liked what he saw.

"You like?" she asked, shedding the blazer completely.

Jay bit into his bottom lip, eyes mere slits of desire, as he nodded his head. "How could I not? God! You are gorgeous!"

Emma smiled wide, a red hue slowly creeping onto her cheeks. "Stop it."

Jay shook his head, touching a strand of her hair. "Never. You better get used to it."

"Does this mean you're gonna stick around for a while?" she asked, hoping she wouldn't scare him off.

"A while? How does forever sound?" he asked, surprised by his own forwardness.

"Getting a little ahead of ourselves, aren't we?"

Jay licked his lips. "Look. All flirtation and joking aside, I want this. And if we're gonna go for it, then it's gotta be all or nothing." Jay pointed to the hallway. "That little girl in there needs a mommy and I want you for that job. But if you don't think you can handle it, then let's not even start this."

Emma fought back tears, as she pressed her lips to Jay's for a gentle kiss. When she pulled away she said, "You don't even know what you've gotten yourself into, Hogart."

**One more...**


	13. Chapter 13

**Disclaimer: I wish I did, but I don't...own Degrassi...**

"I miss Emily," Emma whispered, tracing a finger over the taut muscles of Jay's six pack.

"You'll see her in four days," Jay reminded, rubbing the side of her arm with the palm of his hand. "I thought you were having a good time?"

Emma leaned up, rolling over, and resting her head on Jay's chest. "I am. Really I am. I just can't stop thinking about how much she'd be loving every minute of this."

Jay smirked, running a hand through Emma's hair. "I don't think she'd enjoy it half as much as you."

Emma swatted him. "Stop being naughty!"

"I thought that's what you liked most about me?" Jay asked.

Emma smiled, moving her body until she was on top of Jay, revealing her nakedness, as she sat up, letting the thin, white sheet fall away. Jay couldn't believe he'd gotten so lucky, to have this wonderful, sexy woman all to himself.

"So much for missing our little girl, huh?" he teased.

Emma attempted to roll off of Jay, but he grasped her hips firmly, holding her prisoner. She allowed him to enter her freely, moving on top of him slowly, savouring the feel of having him inside of her, and never wanting it to end.

"I never thought I could love you this much, Nelson," Jay said, breathing becoming ragged.

Emma leaned down, falling onto Jay's chest, kissing him passionately. "That's Mrs. Hogart to you!"

"Mrs. Hogart? I like the sound of that."

"How about the sound of little feet?" she asked, still laying on his chest.

Jay rolled over, pinning Emma's warm, glistening body under his. "You got something to tell me?"

"Not yet. But let's make this time a good one and we'll see."

**I hope you enjoyed the story! (In case you didn't get it, Jay and Emma are on their honeymoon in this chapter.) Thanks for all of your great reviews and support! I'm going on a little vacation of my own and won't be writing anything until March. Please keep your eyes open though and I'll try to come up with some more good ideas!**

**Kisses, **

**Kerr**


End file.
